Screenshot_2017-06-13-20-37-33-1More like matata most days
I sat on the right corner back seat
In a car full of passengers
Lost in the activity and chit chat
Of their minds
Perhaps getting lost
Was easier than
Just being
But I ask what is peace?


Matatu– public means of transport in Kenya (also a culture)

Matata– trouble

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Sometimes I cried in my sleep
Sometimes I cried loudly and everyone could hear
But they were too far to help
To understand
Perhaps it all came down to me
My mind
The root to all my Unhappiness
I desperately wanted to blossom like this flower am holding
Part of me so dying
I could say I felt so good
I could say death was my awakening
To realize that my mind is a fiction of what could be, what was and what might not be


Glimpses of light
I heard welcome home and I rushed
The beauty of light
The embrace was magical
Like a new born baby or a lover with his soul
I can only hear one sound now
Tatata (The suchness of life)

“…..Ultimately, proof lies not in intellectual arguments, but in being touched in some way by the sacred within and without.” -Eckhart Tolle

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I needed a table for two. See,My head was a mess. i, we needed to reason. I constantly said this things, knew this things, i knew what i want but STILL STILL walked on the same tiny path when i could, walk on a wider road.


Remember how you gave your heart and she never even supported you or
Or how you continued taking the same crap from her
And still, still continued taking the crap. Repeated twice? There is more

Remember, how you fell too quickly
Yet, he was not the one YOU wanted nor HE wanted. Still, you run like he, was the only thing only that breathes air on earth
Or how they wanted you to take the blame.
You did.
Perhaps, am beyond repair?

Or how you set your mind to cut the tummy fat, yet only worked harder to hide the extra gains
Or the time keeping or the constant dependence on things that promise the hurt
Remember, how you refused to trust your mind.
Yet, you were right
Even now

This vision.
This goals
But still… the reality seems so far out of reach

Perhaps, more self love?


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Continue reading

Its all lies, Darling…


I was scared today and not just because i realised how much and what i can do but what i have lost. Friends, family, opportunities and more. And i would lie if i said i dont feel alone most times.
I do.
Perhaps even to share the best,i do.
Alone though.
And even the few you have, they are just too far to understand.

Sometimes i sit down and i see so much, i hear so much and i want to cry because what is being said is true.

But something deep inside keeps whispering that i can do it. I can figure it out. Its easier to judge. I know. Maybe their lives suck and they want to drag mine with them.
And sometimes you want to fight or shout out that, am not that or this or its them not me.
And maybe sometimes, they just dont care.
Its all in my head.

I, you can figure it out. I, you will figure it out however challenging. Perhaps  Small scares are JUST small and big scares are JUST big.
And well you know what they say. If your dreams dont scare you they aint big enough.

PLease lemme know your wonderful thoughts and what your fears are on the comments section below. Perhaps we can overcome our fears together! ☺


By you

 I am
Me and all my pride
I choose to
Appreciate today

I love the way you walk with grace
The way you laugh
It makes me smile
Am not sure
Maybe you notice
Or not?

I laugh when you are high
           You look
It reminds me you are human

I blushed when you held my eyes this time
And last time…..
I know
I should keep this in my head
But then
I want to remember
Even when i find a new YOU!

I could imagine us

Am not sure you like us
First move?
I love my happy place 
And you
Make the first move